Okay, if you have been reading my blog, then you know I like to confess things and get it off my chest. I told you I would be real. It is good for the soul and it brings us closer to God too. I have been chatting with a real cool brother here on the WordPress blogs (what’s up Divine Masculine), and he got me thinking today. We were chatting about trouble with our ladies and keeping a level head when the past is brought up and things get heated. I was telling him about an argument I had last night with my wife.
Yes, news flash world, Christian couples have arguments too. Sometimes they are even bad arguments that hurt the heart. So that’s one confession I guess, but my main point was going to be about my hot temper that sometimes returns from a distant past and flares up burning down everything in sight.
Now, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I am a very chill guy, like really chill. It takes a lot to get me agitated. I hate anger and I hate fighting and violence. I was never that kind of guy. I don’t even like watching boxing. There is nothing cool about brain damage.
Sometimes though, given just the right spark, that sinful anger will be right back in my lap burning me and others around me. When I was in the beginning of my suffering with Celiac and my brain was still on fire from the damaging gliadin protein, it felt like I was angry all the time in peak fight or flight mode. It was awful. Thankfully, that nightmare part of the disease is over and healed now!
I have learned to control anger through years of training and discipline in God’s Word, but I am not perfect. I have made my mistakes. Now at 40, I am feeling the strongest I have felt spiritually in my entire life. This is after six and a half years of suffering Celiac! He makes beauty out of ashes, I’m tellin’ ya! I don’t feel angry about the disease anymore and I am finally coming to terms with it. I still have rough days, but I am at peace and it feels great!
The other night I had an argument with my wife about our son. Things from the past were brought up, and that is where I want to stop. You see, that is one of the sparks for me. People talking about past mistakes. I hate it! I hate it when its done to me and I hate it when I do it. I hate it because in 1 Corinthians 13 Paul writes, “love keeps no record of wrongs.” We are to forgive as Christ forgave us, and let it go.
I could feel that angry little guy rising up inside me wanting to go all buck wild and free! But this is a story of victory! You know what I did instead of freaking out? I hugged that little angry buddy and he wasn’t angry anymore. I prayed, calmed down, and gave it to God. I have learned from my training in the Bible.
Now, my wife and I still had some “strong fellowship” regarding our disagreement, but we worked it out in love and peace. We never go to bed angry. Don’t do that. Squash it before bedtime.
“”In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
That is very wise advice! Forgive before bed, so that in the morning the devil does not have a foothold as you wake up angry. My good friend Roberto who I have known since college told me once, “every time you get angry, you lose.” Those words have echoed in my mind ever since. Anger=lose. Remember that. I’m not talking about righteous anger where you save somebody who is being beat up or something like that. I’m talking about sinful anger. I think we all know the difference.
Here are the verses that have trained me to be more victorious over sinful anger:
“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”
“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.”
Humbly accept the word planted in you is right! I have read those verses and prayed those verses for years. That I would be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. I pray it all the time still to this day. I don’t want to be a fool and get burned or burn others with sinful anger. I want to be righteous! Is that not what we all really want? To be clean and whole and at peace? Well, that is what Jesus does for us. Amen!
My wife and I are doing great by the way! I love her and she is my lady and my best friend! We have been through more than you can imagine together. She cared for me during my suffering so deeply with love, and I am so thankful to be with her! I just wanted to give you an inside look at a real Christian marriage of 17 years, and how I deal with anger. Yeah, sometimes we get on each other’s nerves, and sometimes arguments can be hurtful, but forgive, let it go, and keep marching forward together!
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them together in perfect unity.”
Thanks again Divine Masculine my brother for the great conversation today! Always real brother!
Grace and peace to you all!