Homesickness is a real thing. If you have ever had to leave your home, then you know this is true. I’ve been having a hard time writing and I debated whether or not to even write this post, but I am a writer, so it always helps to write what’s all jumbled up in my heart. It helps make sense of what I’m feeling and thinking. Maybe it will help you too. I miss my home and my heart feels sick. Not sure where this is going. I’m just going to write.
If you have been reading my posts regarding moving to Florida, then you know we left Colorado on July 19th and arrived here on July 21st. It was truly amazing how fast God moved in power to get us down here! He truly did part the seas for us! I want to be clear that I am very thankful for all the Lord did. From my wife getting a job so fast to selling our house in only 3 days, it was evident that He was with us and it was His will.
Everything is fine here and we are pretty much settled in for now. We will be moving again into our new home in 7 or 8 months, but this rental house is home for now. The people are nice here and the school is great. Our kids have already made good friends, and my wife already has good friends among her coworkers at the school too. Our daughter attends the same school my wife teaches at, and our son is at the charter’s elementary school right across the street. My wife is actually one of our daughter’s teachers, which is fun for them. They are just up the street about 8 minutes from the house too.
It is a huge blessing that my wife got hired by this charter school. It’s one of the best in the whole country, and both schools are protected full time by armed police officers, which I love. My kids are safe under armed protection at home and at school. I love seeing my son standing next to a cop when I pick him up. That man is a brave hero and I know he would give his life to protect our son and all the kids there.
Missing home is nothing against Florida. I just miss my home. I miss where I’m from, where I grew up. I lived in Colorado for 34 years. I’ve lived here for 2 months as of today. I was raised in Colorado, went to college and met my wife there, raised our kids there, and we had a great life together there. Anyone who knows me, knows that I love Colorado, and nobody ever expected me to leave. Matter of fact, I was the absolute last person my friends and family thought would leave. I wanted to live the rest of my life there.
I miss taking a deep breath of that crisp Rocky Mountain air. I miss the majestic mountains and fishing for trout in the beautiful rivers. I miss the sweet smell of vanilla on the bark of the mountain pine trees. I miss the deer coming through and the sounds of the crickets and sparrows. I miss watching the hawks soaring through the bright blue sky with the gorgeous view of the Rockies in the background. I miss the amazing sunrises and sunsets, the changing seasons, and how everything moves and feels. I miss the people, I miss Denver, and I even miss the snow and cold. I know God brought us down here to rescue us and bless us and I know there is nothing back there for me now, but my heart wants to go home.
The people here are nice and the Gulf and beaches are great. My wife and kids love it here and are very happy, but it’s harder for me. No matter where I live, Celiac is still with me. I’m still sitting in the house suffering and fighting this disease, and it has actually gotten worse since moving down here. I’ve been struggling with pain, loneliness, and depression yet again. You wouldn’t know that most of the time by how I write because I give it all to Jesus and just keep pressing on. Sometimes I write about it, but most of the time I don’t. It’s not easy fighting a chronic illness, and I fight the depression, anger, and loneliness that chronic disease and pain causes too.
I don’t really know what to do about how I’m feeling other than give it to God. I am 42. I’ve been fighting this disease for almost 9 years now. That is a lot of lost time I can’t get back. Almost a decade of my life is gone. Since moving down here, I’ve felt a deep hopelessness; like I’ve run my race and my life is over. I know we had to leave Colorado, but it still hurts that we had to leave. If it wasn’t for this disease, we would most likely still be there. If I was able to work full time like I did before Celiac destroyed my life, then it would not have been a problem.
There were other reasons we left, not just finances, but finances are a big reason when you can’t afford where you live anymore. It makes me so mad what those liberals did to my beautiful state! I love Colorado with all my heart! I wish I could go back and run for Governor! I would take the fight to those leftist traitors so hard, and I would have Colorado back on track to righteousness and prosperity in no time! No high taxes, no mandatory vaccines, no mandatory masks, no taking money from teachers, no lawlessness, and no shutdown!
I pray God spreads revival through Colorado and our whole country, and He removes all those wicked leftist traitors from power! Just look at all the violence, destruction, and death they have caused! It’s sickening! They want power, they want to control you and your kids, and they want to enslave us all with their socialist tyranny! Stand up, speak the truth, and fight back!
I am a mountain man. I lived the majority of my life at high altitude breathing thin fresh air. Our house was at 6,115 feet and we enjoyed beautiful blue skies, and clear starry nights every day. I am not use to wetness, rain, and humidity, and at this point, I don’t want to get use to it. I could turn off the A/C and drive with the windows down in Denver. If I do that here, the inside of the car starts getting wet and I can’t breathe from the heat and humidity. It has gotten a little cooler and less humid as we approach October, but it’s Florida, so I can never get a deep breath like I can in Colorado. The air is just too thick and wet here. I’m use to living in a high desert plain with dry heat, four seasons, and crazy weather coming down from the Rockies.
I didn’t want to leave Colorado. I just wanted to get out of debt and be able to afford the cost of living again. We did that, but we had to sell our house to get it done. We didn’t like what Polis was doing to teachers and the schools, but there are ways to fight back against tyrants and their tyrannical actions. We were getting tired of cold and winter, but my wife is from Anchorage, Alaska and I’m from Littleton, Colorado so that was the least of our concerns. I was going to have people shovel snow and mow my lawn as I got older anyway. The winter weather along the front range is pretty mild most of the time (even warm at times), and with over 330 days of sunshine per yer, just about every day in Colorado is beautiful.
There were so many things I wanted to show our kids. I never even got to take them up to Trail Ridge Road. They have been to the mountains many times, of course, but there was so much of the state we hadn’t seen. Even after living there for 34 years, I never got to visit Mesa Verde or resort towns like Steamboat and Crested Butte. I was blessed to have plenty of other adventures there like dropping in to Parsenn Bowl on my snowboard at 12,000 feet, river rafting the white water on the Arkansas, and hiking the Keyhole Route to the summit of Long’s Peak at 14,259 feet. Even did some rock climbing and rappelling in Estes Park. So many great memories.
I know we will make new memories here, and our home is wherever we are together as a family, so I am praying to stay positive and I’m asking the Lord to comfort and heal my heart. I will always miss Colorado and I truly hope I get to go back someday, even if it’s just to visit. I pray all my brothers and sisters in Colorado will stand up and fight back against the tide of liberal wickedness spreading through the state. Stand up for each other, stand up for your God given rights, and don’t let those insane traitors control your lives! Colorado is much too precious and beautiful and it must not be run by people who want to turn it into the failed socialist state of California! They are already well on their way, and if you’ve lived in Colorado for over 30 years like me, then you know I’m speaking the truth.
Yes, the cost of living is better down here, and we have a conservative Governor who respects our rights and law and order, but I will always miss Colorado. It use to be a red state, you know? Colorado was always conservative, always that is until liberals from Los Angeles, Portland, and Seattle started pouring into the state as they fled all the problems they and their liberal politicians created in their states. It’s totally insane that they think going to a new state will change their lives, when they come to the new state and vote and act the same sick way that ruined their last state! Polis ruined Denver and now it’s just like L.A.! Increased crime and violence, massive amount of homeless camps, defunding police, Antifa and BLM terrorists on the streets, and sanctuary city lawlessness! That is not Colorado and that is not how Colorado should ever be! Fight back and kick those tyrant traitors out of office!
To all my brothers and sisters in Christ, please pray for me and my family. Pray the Lord heals me and gives me strength. The stress from the move has been difficult on my body and my health. The last week of August I might have even suffered a heart attack or an angina, but I’m not sure. It was very painful in my chest, like someone was squeezing my heart, and my left arm went numb. My kids were home because school hadn’t started yet, but my wife was at work getting her classroom ready. My kids just about called 9-1-1, but I had them text my wife and she was able to come home.
I was bent over gripping my chest groaning in pain as I cried out to the Lord, and I thought I was going to die. It was very hard to breathe as any time I tried to take a breath, I would get a sharp shooting pain in my heart. I didn’t want to tell anyone because I didn’t want anyone to worry, especially my parents, but I told my Mom yesterday. She wants me to see a doctor. I hate going to doctors, but I probably should find out what happened to my heart that day. The pain lasted from that afternoon until I passed out at 2 a.m. the next morning, and my chest was sore and tender for several days afterwards.
I don’t know the full extent of damage that Celiac has caused to my body. Being malnourished due to a damaged small intestine does all kinds of things to the human body. I don’t know how much time I have left on this earth, but I pray to live a life that pleases the Lord. Whether I live in Colorado or Florida, and whether I am healed or not, may His will be done in all things. My life is in His hands and I know He will never leave me nor forsake me. I know He loves me and watches over my life. Whether I die at 42 or 82, may He glorify His Holy Name through me!
“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”Jesus speaking in John 10:27-30
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”Romans 8:38-39
I miss my home, but I look forward to my eternal home in Heaven with Jesus most of all. That is my true home! This whole earth is just a rental, and I long to be home with the Lord. I give my broken heart to the Lord. May we have our eyes forever on Jesus!
“But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness.”2 Peter 3:13
“But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.”Philippians 3:20
Thank you for your prayers! Grace and peace to you all!