Giving Him My Brokenness

Pic quote Colossians 3 v 15

Hello friends and family.  I hope this post finds you well.  I am writing this today because I am in pain and it is wearing me down.  I have been fighting Celiac and Cachexia for almost eight years now.  The new pain I have been suffering due to intestinal damage has been bad the past few months and it started about a year ago.  It was very painful over the weekend and it has been very painful today and I have had enough.  It is just more suffering on top of suffering and I am crying out to God for healing.  I have asked you all to pray for me many times because it says in the Word to pray for each other that we may be healed.  The doctors have told me they can’t do anything for me.  My trust and hope is in God alone.  He is the only One who can help me.  There is no cure for what I suffer.  The only cure is a miracle.

I am only 41 and most days I feel so broken that I don’t know how I am going to make it the rest of my life.  I am trusting in the Lord because I know He can do anything and nothing is impossible for Him!  He has done miracles in my life before and I know He can do it again!

I am going to be taking a break for awhile.  I don’t know for how long.  I will be taking a break from reading blogs and writing posts.  If you don’t see me on your blog, I’m not ignoring you, I just need to deal with this pain and be in prayer.  I just need rest.

I need to spend quiet time with the Lord.  I am trying to understand what has happened to my life and I am asking God to heal me.  I want to hear His voice clearly and I need to know where to go from here.  I will continue to draw near to Him and seek Him first and I am giving Him my pain and brokenness.  I have done what He asked me to do with publishing my testimony and writing this blog for Him.  May His will be done with it all.

My life is in His hands.  Whether I live or die is in His hands.  Whether I am healed or the thorn remains is in His hands.  All I know is a man can only take so much pain and humiliation and everyone has their breaking point.  I have cried out to God and I have plenty of faith that He can heal me.  I have seen Him move in power and do wonders!  He can do anything at anytime!  May His will be done with my pain and my life!  May His will be done in everything!

Thank you for your prayers!  I hope to be back soon!

Always remember that Jesus is love and He loves you!  I know He still loves me and He is with me even now as I write this through the pain.  I give it all to Jesus, may His will be done!

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Jesus speaking in John 3:16

Grace and peace to you all!


October is my salvation month!  I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior in October of 1996 at the age of 18 my freshman year in college.  It has been 23 years now that I have walked with the Lord.  I look forward to writing more about that in October.  See you then!


Author: Ryan Callahan

Hello, and welcome to my site! I am an independent Christian author (One Man's Very Strange Supernatural Life), blogger, and evangelist for Jesus. My main goal with this blog is to help people come to know Jesus, help people understand the Bible, and to minister to a lost and hurting world. This site is about hope, new beginnings, grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love! I'm glad you are here, God bless you! Copyright © 2023 Ryan Callahan. All rights reserved.

101 thoughts on “Giving Him My Brokenness”

  1. Your Dad and I would do anything for you if it meant taking your pain away, Ryan. I can’t tell you how empty and helpless we feel we can’t do that. I pray and plead for your healing, I pray and ask God to please let it be His will that you aren’t in pain anymore and He heal you. In Jesus’ name, Amen. I love you, Ry. May you receive all the comfort and the words you need to hear from God!!!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Blessings and prayers to you and your family during your break and as you continue to go through this trial. Thank you for uplifting us with your raw faith and testimony. You walk with Jesus, and He will sustain you. God bless!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Psalm 88

    88 O Lord, God of my salvation,
    I cry out day and night before you.
    2 Let my prayer come before you;
    incline your ear to my cry!

    3 For my soul is full of troubles,
    and my life draws near to Sheol.
    4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
    I am a man who has no strength,
    5 like one set loose among the dead,
    like the slain that lie in the grave,
    like those whom you remember no more,
    for they are cut off from your hand.
    6 You have put me in the depths of the pit,
    in the regions dark and deep.
    7 Your wrath lies heavy upon me,
    and you overwhelm me with all your waves. Selah

    8 You have caused my companions to shun me;
    you have made me a horror to them.
    I am shut in so that I cannot escape;
    9 my eye grows dim through sorrow.
    Every day I call upon you, O Lord;
    I spread out my hands to you.
    10 Do you work wonders for the dead?
    Do the departed rise up to praise you? Selah
    11 Is your steadfast love declared in the grave,
    or your faithfulness in Abaddon?
    12 Are your wonders known in the darkness,
    or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness?

    13 But I, O Lord, cry to you;
    in the morning my prayer comes before you.
    14 O Lord, why do you cast my soul away?
    Why do you hide your face from me?
    15 Afflicted and close to death from my youth up,
    I suffer your terrors; I am helpless.
    16 Your wrath has swept over me;
    your dreadful assaults destroy me.
    17 They surround me like a flood all day long;
    they close in on me together.
    18 You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me;
    my companions have become darkness.

    may God always give you enough manna for today.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I pray the Lord gives you relief, Ryan. Today and everyday. I know that he is doing his wonderful work in you, and I also know that he will give you relief and endurance.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Ryan, praying for a miracle for you! God is generous and merciful, He will make all work out for your good, I feel sure of it. It’s just a matter of time.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I am so sorry about the pain. but just as you said, I strongly believe in the miraculous power of God to restore all that has been broken.
    I pray you find all you seek in Him.
    May God bless you and confirm His word in your life. Amen!

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Ryan, I’m so sorry you’re going through this – and have been for so long. I sincerely pray that God sees fit to heal you, brother. I will be praying for you as you take some time off. I pray God gives you relief from your pain and suffering. God bless you. Dee

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I will continue to pray for you Ryan. It took a lot of courage to pour out your heart to us. We wish we could be of more help to you. Only God has the answer and we can trust in Him. I know He is a healer and He has the final say. God bless you and I will miss your posts.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Last night I was praying and pleading to God on your behalf Ryan. You are doing a great work for God and I know that He who began a good work in you will see you through. Blessings

        Liked by 2 people

  9. Sorry, fumble-fingers here somehow posted before I was through writing. 😬 As I was saying… what was I saying? Oh yeah… I think it’s okay to just scream sometimes – maybe for real and also metaphorically speaking. God hurts with us. I just know He does. For me, healing has always been progressive. I understand that it doesn’t have to be that way but sometimes it just is (at least for me). I always tried to remind myself that “All things work together for good…” It didn’t really make me feel any better at the time but bottom line: God’s Word doesn’t lie. You have to sometimes just grit your teeth and trust Him to get you through the tough times. Life is a constant challenge and struggle for the believer. But remember what is more precious than gold. Some days are better than others. We just gotta’ hang in there for the long haul though. I see that many are praying for you. Add me to that list. Hang in there, my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m so sorry to hear this sweet friend. May God bring you peace, healing and show you the way you should go. You are so encouraging. God bless you and you are in my prayers🙏🏻🙏🏻

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Healing is progressive and God sometimes takes his time. Everything is on his time but from an outsider looking in, you have a wonderful family, home, friends and bloggers you have changed in believing and knowing that God’s miracles are real. That is truly a gift that many cannot share. All things in God’s hands work for a reason and I know sometimes we are at the end, ready to give up, something happens and we see why he waited. You will be in my prayers.

    Liked by 4 people

  12. God bless you Ryan!
    I don’t know why you are going through the pain but there are many other things I do know including:
    – As you’ve mentioned (God so loved the world…)
    – When someone goes through something in life, someone else that wouldn’t be able to endure it may see it and glorify Gods name because of it.
    – Hebrews 3:13
    But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
    – the world is not our home

    Liked by 1 person

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