That is one beautiful Colorado hawk! We see them flying around here every day, and sometimes they land on the tops of our big Austrian pine trees. We back up to open space, so they love to hunt for snakes and mice here, which we appreciate greatly! That is quite a question the Lord asked Job! After everything Job suffered, the Lord speaks to him in chapters 38-41. The Lord asks him a series of amazing questions that reveal God’s sovereignty over all of creation. I am writing this today because I needed to be reminded to trust in the Lord and I want to share how He did that.
I have been struggling with discouragement, so this morning the Lord brought to mind a familiar verse that He has used to speak to me many times. This is what I heard:
“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”
When God speaks to my heart like that I stop, listen, and have a conversation with Him. I let Him know how I am feeling and I give Him my heart. He already knows right where we are at in life and He already knows every issue we are struggling with in our hearts, so it is best to be honest with Him.
The Lord has been speaking to me about trusting Him and putting my hope in Him for the last couple weeks. He knows I have been discouraged about many things regarding this disease and what it has done to my life. When I saw the photo of the hawk this morning, I looked up verses about hawks and God led me to the Book of Job. He has used Job many times since I was diagnosed with Celiac on 1-6-2012. Indeed I felt like Job for many years during the worst of my suffering. I felt like Job and Hezekiah.
I have had more tough conversations with God than I’d like to admit over the last 6 years and 10 months. I have asked God many hard questions, some of which I still don’t have answers to. I was angry for a long time and just like Job I despised the day I was born. I was angry at being created at all. Even after the experiences with the demon, God’s angels, and the Holy Spirit miracle where God let me live, sometimes that anger and hurt still rise up and I wish I had never been born. However, through the power of the Holy Spirit I rise up higher and praise God for giving me life!
Suffering is not something any of us want to go through, but I must trust that He is sovereign over every part of my life just as He is sovereign over all of creation. That is what the verse about the hawk says to me. It is not my wisdom that causes the hawk to take flight and spread his wings to the south. It is God’s wisdom that does such things in His creation!
God loves us and He cares for us even when we don’t understand. Even when we are hurting and angry. God carries us and comforts us with His great wisdom and love! Yes, I feel broken. My heart is broken. My body is broken. But I am strong in Christ! My life will never be the same again, I know that, but I also know the plans God has for me are going to be more than all I could ask or imagine.
Like Job, I must trust the Lord despite the loss. Despite the loss of health, despite the loss of employment and income, and despite the loss of strength. I have questioned God way too much during my time of suffering and I have said things in anger that I had to repent for many times. I praise Him that He is slow to anger and we can approach Him with freedom and confidence. If not, I would have been struck down a long time ago! Praise the Lord for His grace and mercy through Jesus!
My heart feels as Job’s did when He replied to the Lord’s questions:
“I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.”
“You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.”
May the Lord accept that from my heart as well and may the Lord’s will be done!
I am nothing! Jesus Christ is Lord!
Grace and peace to you all!