Real Talk After 17 Years Of Marriage

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Our kids enjoying Imperial Beach, San Diego, CA, June 2018

I hope everyone is having a blessed day celebrating love!  Yesterday I wrote about what love truly is.  God is love, so celebrate Him and His love today!  We would not have love without God and the very existence of love proves the existence of God!  Our family will be celebrating God’s love today.  My wife and I have been married for 17 years and we are so thankful for our two awesome kids!  I want you to know though, it has not been easy!  I know many of you have been married much longer than we have and many of you are newly married or single.  I have gained much wisdom learning from all of you and I would like to share some real talk about what my wife and I have learned in our time together.

Before I get started, I need to share some verses with you that have been instrumental in my wife and I loving each other.  These verses have been the very heart of why our marriage has survived through all the challenges and mistakes.

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Colossians 3:13

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

1 Peter 4:8

“Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails…”

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

We even have a little framed piece of art of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 hanging on the wall in the kitchen.  It’s good to adorn your home with God’s Word!

Gallery love verses
Bought this on Amazon. 1 Corinthians 13, the Love verses.

Have I always loved my wife that way?  No.  I have made many mistakes and said many sinful things that I am ashamed of, but we move forward in forgiveness.  My wife and I have had our bad arguments, but the center of our relationship is not each other.  It is Jesus!  No matter what we go through, we always strive to love each other the way God’s Word says to.  No matter how bad the argument or how hurt or irritated we are, we always remember to bear with each other, forgive each other as Jesus forgave us, and to love each other deeply the 1 Corinthians 13 way because that always covers over a multitude of sins.

We have had times where we were both hurt so bad that I didn’t know if we would make it, but we just kept giving it to Jesus.  When God brings two people together, you better believe the evil one wants to rip them apart and believe me, he will try.  We made it through those times victoriously because we gave the battle to God and fought back through prayer, God’s Word, and worship!

No marriage is perfect.  We are not perfect.  But we have a perfect God who is perfect in His love and He gives us the power to love like Him!  I can tell you right now, my wife and I would not have made it without Jesus.  If we didn’t have the Holy Spirit inside of us guiding, convicting, and teaching us, then our marriage would have ended years ago.  We can’t love like God without His Holy Spirit.

My parents just celebrated 44 years of marriage in January!  Truly amazing!  That is an awesome example of loving faithfulness!  I love you guys!  Here is what my Mom said about it:

“Forty four!!  It just doesn’t seem possible.  We were married Jan 11, 1975.  We were both 21 (of course I turned 22 later that month).  It was freezing cold, windy, and had an ice storm that morning. Your Dad was student teaching, so still in college.   I was working full-time at Brown Specialty and had my own apartment for 2 years, so your Dad just moved in with clothes, etc. Ha.  I had my Nova.  Our rent was $95 with utilities!!  I brought home $95 a week.”

Then I was born just a few years later in ’78!  My Mom and Dad showed my younger sister and I how to keep on loving each other through any pain, trouble, or disagreement.  44 years is a long time folks!  Congratulations Mom and Dad!  Thank you for setting such a strong example of faithful love even through the hard times!  Praise the Lord!

My wife and I have another 27 years before we reach 44 years of marriage.  I wonder what we will learn from now until then.  I know…a lot!!!  We have learned so much about each other, ourselves, and the Lord over the last 17 years it is mind boggling!  We didn’t get to where we are without going through many trials and tribulations, and it is only Jesus that got us through victoriously.

Here is a photo on the side of our fridge from the day we were married on June 23, 2001.  This is from our wedding reception.  We had no idea of all the trials we were going to live through, but we promised to be with each other forever under God’s covenant of marriage.

wedding picture

 

We have to fight for our families!  We have to fight back by praying for each other.  Pray over your spouse.  Pray over your kids.  Read God’s Word every day because we don’t live on bread alone.  Our soul needs food and our families are healthy when we feed on God’s Word.  Serve each other in love and care for each other.  Praise and worship the Lord together.  We love putting on some TobyMac and dancing and praising with the kids.  That’s some good Holy Spirit fun right there!

I am not a perfect husband or a perfect father, but I give my heart to God and ask Him to help me love my family like He loves them and He does.  I am looking forward to many more years with my wife.  Through all the ups and downs and challenges we have faced, the Lord has always kept us together in His love!  To my wife and kids: I love you with all my heart!

We all need God’s love wherever we are in this world.  That deep love that bears all things and never fails!  You will have that real love in your marriage when you both make Jesus your first love and keep it that way for all the years of your lives!  Marriage is not easy and it will not be without trouble, but you can overcome anything together through Christ!

Grace and peace to you all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author: Ryan Callahan

Hello, and welcome to my site! I am an independent Christian author (One Man's Very Strange Supernatural Life), blogger, and evangelist for Jesus. My main goal with this blog is to help people come to know Jesus, help people understand the Bible, and to minister to a lost and hurting world. This site is about hope, new beginnings, grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love! I'm glad you are here, God bless you! Copyright © 2024 Ryan Callahan. All rights reserved.

54 thoughts on “Real Talk After 17 Years Of Marriage”

  3. Amen, Ryan. God’s love and His blessing was with us the day we were married, and having Jesus in our life to call on, lean on, believe in, and prayers answered has meant more and done more for us than I can reveal in words. Thank you for celebrating our 44 years with such a lovely and beautiful post, Ryan. As the years go by, there are so many phases in your marriage that forms your life together, and all of them make your life rich, even the struggles. The love you have for your partner in life deepens as you age together, you are in this life together and will finish it together. You know the day you were married that you are “one” in the eyes of God. We have a beautiful, loving and growing family, which makes our life rich. And, the love of God makes our life complete. Thank you, Ryan, for this wonderful and lovely reminder of God’s love.
    Love you, Mom

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    1. Thanks! That was a fun day. We got married at Whatley Chapel in Denver and that picture was taken at our reception at the Holiday Inn by the Centennial Airport. We flew to Hawaii to spend 2 weeks in Kauai right after that! It was awesome! God bless!

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  6. A lovely piece, Ryan! Congratulations to your parents. My wife and I will be celebrating our 31st this May, with three kids. Two turn 25, and 29 the same day next month, our oldest is 30. Family and married life challenges, we’ve all been there! God bless!

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  7. Congratulations to your parents, and to you and your wife also! My husband & I are at 40–the same year you were born! God is so good to bring a special reminder to me tonight through your year! And yes, it is God’s great love in us that has kept us too. Blessings to you and your beautiful family!

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  15. My wife and I just got married, I just wanted to mention a book by Francis and Lisa Chan that was very eye opening. It is called You and Me Forever. I highly reccomend this. I am new to this walk and discovering so many ways Jesus loves me. I invite you to check out my page. A Broken Identity is the last day I spent in the darkness until I cried out to Jesus. Have a blessed day.

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  17. This was a blessing to read! The Bible teaches that marriage should be honored by all — thank you for reminding us how sacred and precious marriage is to God (and to you and your wife). ✝️

    Here’s to another seventeen years!

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  18. So one thing that I picked up from Francis Chan in his book You and Me Forever he states that he is a very prideful person and sometimes he and his wife get in arguments over simple things. Francis said ” In those moments stop yourself and ask would I rather be right or more like Christ” I am coming up on 1 year in marriage but I am so happy that there are blogs out there and good books that give Biblical direction. I appreciate you sharing your experiences so that others can gain hope. The Bible is the living word and it is still new to me, but I look forward to revelations from the spirit in my daily life, so that I may lead my family well and prepare them for eternity. Thank you for your words brother.

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    1. Amen brother! That is great advice to be humble with our wives. The Lord is with you in power and I pray He pours out the Holy Spirit on you and your wife! The Lord will lead you and give you those revelations from the Spirit! God bless you!

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      1. Thank you Ryan, I appreciate your words of encouragement. I pray that what God has done through me might bless others. I pray that I continue to fight the good fight and elevate our fathers kingdom and put to rest my selfish desires. Thank you so much. Have a blessed day.

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  20. Awesome! Thank you for sharing and congrats on 17 years! I’m only on year 5 and yet as each year passes I find more reasons to love and grow as a spouse. Marriage is truly a blessing from God, created to mirror His love toward His bride, the church. God bless you both

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